71. What to look for/away from in duffle bags

INFEASIBLE: Multicolored nylon bags

Gucci navy nylon trademark logo duffle
(From Bluefly)

Duffle bags are handy dandy, especially with airliners these days tacking on additional charges for separate pieces of luggage. They’re also subject to the strict rulings of fashion despite their functionality. For some reason, Gucci thought they should not only make an expensive nylon bag shaped like a cigarette, but also throw the colors of AMERICA on it (not to mention a big ole logo). Sorry guys, this one’s just too imperialistic for me.

Feasible: Classic leather bag

(Brought to you by Overstock.com)

Ah, classic. Fine treated leather, numerous pockets, strong strap, durable. And 1/7 the price of the other, jingoistic one.

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68. Pants, trousers, whatever you call ’em

INFEASIBLE: ‘Ricky’ pants

Marc Jacobs dark brown cotton sateen ‘Ricky’ pants
(From Bluefly)

I didn’t know what the fuck “ricky pants” were prior till like five minutes ago, but if ever pair looks like this, then I can safely say you will never catch me wearing them. Marc Jacobs, what the hell’s going on with the cuffs? What’s that flimsy belt doing there? The horrible buckle? The tight cut of the waist? I ask you, do you think anyone wants to look like a clown?

Feasible: Simple straight leg pants

Joseph Abboud coconut linen straight leg pants
(Brought to you by Bluefly)

Simple, coconut gray (Dracon soft spot detected), uniform cut, nothing crazy here. And it’s not terribly expensive. And you won’t look like a buffoon, I promise.

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63. Summertime + Suits

INFEASIBLE: Chino-based suits.

(From Banana Republic)

I know what you’re thinking these days. Sure, it’s getting close to the summer and you wanna be cool and slick looking when the sun’s a-shining high and the birds are making it with the bees. That’s fine, hell, that’s what you SHOULD be thinking. But you might also be thinking, “Hey. I tend to associate the material wool with winter – so why would I wear a wool suit during the summer?” BR is prying on this line of thought with this cotton/khaki suit, and fuck, you might have fallen for this trap. Guys, if there’s something to ever snub in the fashion world, it is a chino-based suit. That and a 100% polyster getup. Both REEK of Miami Vice.

Feasible: Light wool, light color

(Brought to you by Bluefly)
Here’s a little known fact: wool breathes. Air passes through strangs of wool, thus providing ventilation of sorts. Sure, cotton breathes too, but wool always looks good. And wool doesn’t shrink. And wool isn’t CHEAP (I went there). As for making this Ted Beaker a little more festive (yeah, I know, my love of gray isn’t universally revered), try having the breast pocket unsown and sticking in a cheerful pocket square. “Which pocket square?”, you ask. Just you wait and see.

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51. Bomber jackets

INFEASIBLE: Bomber jackets with fur collars

(From Zappos

Bomber jackets aren’t the classiest outerwear out there, but some work (see below). And then there are bombers with furry collars which take the ‘cl’ out of ‘class’. This jacket especially, what with its nauseating color. Gentlemen, fur and you spells danger, leave it to the ladies to wear.

…why is Zappos selling jackets anyway?

Feasible: Twill bomber jackets

(Brought to you by Bluefly)

I’d love to wear a bomber like this on a chilly Sunday night. With a mojito. That’s the trendy drink these days, by the by.

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49. Cargo pants

[*Sorry about the lack of updates guys, lots of craziness over here – hopefully things will calm down for now.*]

Loose-fitting, multi-pocketed cargo pants

(From Levi’s

As you probably can tell by now I’m not a fan of loose-fitting anything; this includes pants. Therefore, cargo pants in general piss me off. But while I deal with some forms of cargo on occasion, pieces like this one that feature all kinds of pockets in crazy ass places (knee cap??) will never be in my good graces. It’s all just so excessive.

Feasible: Less-loose black cargo pants

(Brought to you by Bluefly)

Everything about this pair, however, feels a little tighter. It’s black, the legs are drawn firmer, the pockets don’t bulge on their own and are the thighs. Good investment here.

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45. More about blazers

INFEASIBLE: One-button blazers

(From Bluefly)

This blazer looks great…except something is missing. Can you tell what it is? Yes, a button. Some clown decided that two buttons on a jacket was too much and started this crazy-ass trend. Don’t waste your money on anything like this, I suspect this design will fall out of flavor quickly.

Feasible: Classic two-button navy

(Brought to you by Bluefly)

A classy look that’s not going out of style any time soon. Good shit.

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