Tag Archives: blazers
This Week’s Fuck-Up: Michael Macko
I was planning on doing a usual In/Feasible post today, but I just couldn’t let this kinda horseshit go unnoticedfor a day longer. Look, I respect Saks. Their men’s section has done me right in the past. But this Michael Macko guy is beginning to make me seriously question the brains on 5th Avenue. There is no way, I repeat NO WAY, shorts of any nature go with a button-down. Never. And to throw on a tie, tie clip, and a sportcoat to boot is just fucking obnoxious. I’m all about breaking fashion conventions but not at the expense of looking like this. Why not just show up in your boxers next?! Goddamn.
PS: NO SOCKS?!?!
This Week’s Fuck-Up: The Jonas Brothers
I have no idea who these rock-clowns 4 christ are (apparently TMZ does though), but they look like total fashion rejects. I wonder if their prior, scintillating discussion concerning what to do with their image went something like this:
Tool1: Guys, ever hear of emo?
Tool2: Didn’t everyone want one for Christmas – praise be unto Him – like, in the 90s?
Tool1: Maybe, dunno. Well, anyway, emo punks have long and unkempt hair: we should do that!
Tool1: And you know clubbing? Not the seals, LoL – like, dancing and stuff?
Tool2: Isn’t there [lowers voice to a whisper] alcohol around when you going clubbing?
Tool1: I think, I don’t know – I’ve only seen like a fifth of A Night at the Roxbury. But yeah, everybody wears blazers when they go clubbing: let’s do that too!
Tool2: But what do we wear under our blazers?
Tool1: I don’t, I guess our undershirts? Or maybe some COOL, VINTAGE SHIRT WITH AN OFF-BEAT REFERENCE.
People, spend time figuring out what do wear with your blazer, don’t just throw one on after you go for a jog or after you leave the boardwalk.
INFEASIBLE: Intense-colored blazers
Ugh. I pray this is a nugget of knowledge innately lodged in all men’s minds (masculus a priori), but for the unlucky ones out there: DON’T WEAR BLAZING BLAZERS. No reds, oranges, yellows, bright greens, shinny silvers, neon blues. Never cool.
Feasible: Dark gray blazers
(Brought you by Sears)
I’ll let you guys in on a secret: As long as it’s not dirty or torn, and as long as it’s a dark color (black, navy blue, gray especially), and as long as it isn’t made of construction paper, then you’re set to go clubbing. Yes, one can discern a $300 blazer from a $40 one, but fear not o’cheap one since (and this is key) blazers are not the main attraction of your outfit. Rather, the shirt you wear under the blazer – whether it be a nice decal shirt (see below) or a silk D&G button-down – is what is meant to grab the eye. This is not to say the blazers is not important: it situates the shirt, provides a sense of layers, etc. It just isn’t there to turn heads. This cheap blazer from Sears would do you good.