Tag Archives: what’s wrong with this picture?

Men’s Fashion Police: Justin Bieber

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The Bieber: one of my fashion nemeses. Yet again he’s managed to make me cringe at the sight of his wardrobe selection. But what’s different this time is how he somehow managed to subvert a typical principle of wear, the principle of matching. Here he successfully color codes his shirt with an accessory, i.e. his hat, but both pieces feature tired cultural mentions (a basketball team and choral lyrics from a way overplayed pop song) and are the exact same color as found in laughable sports uniforms. It’s as of nuance is missed on him or whoever dresses him: rhyming a word so closely with itself just doesn’t fly. Overall, I’d say what’s happening on Justin is remarkable in how contemptible it is. Also, when did he get some lanky?

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Men’s Fashion Police: Cee-lo

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Cee-lo may be big pimpin’ in the record game these days , but the man’s far from dressing as such. A pair of red Adidas sandals certainly does not go well with his loose-hanging black gym shorts and that Hans-looking v-neck. Someone should also let him know that shades inspired by the Matrix went out of style last decade…

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?: Tom Sturridge

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Tom Sturridge, you’re no bohemian nor hippie. If anything, you’re looking like a hipster these days – that’s somehow even worse. Your hat laughable matches your beard, your chain looks like something from a pawn shop, and those sunglasses are straight out of the woman’s section at Urban Outfitters. Sienna, what were you thinking?!

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?: Ashton Kutcher

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Whoa, Ashton, you’ve gone downright burly. I’ve spent some time in New England and intimately know how ugly facial and head hair can get, but you’re certainly giving the backwater hippies a run for their money. Also, your blazer’s too big for you and your shirt needs a good ironing. Get it together, bro.

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?: Brad Pitt

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There’s just too much white happening here, Brad. You might be a pretty good actor and worth millions of dollars, but you lack the magical prowess to be Gandalf the White. Besides, you’re just asking for someone to spill some Merlot all over your pants and shoes. Do something else with your hair too while you’re at it.

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?: Johnny Depp

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I love Johnny Depp, but sometimes I got to wonder if he’s going out of his mind. I mean, a white and black blazer/long coat thing that clearly doesn’t fit?! (Check out those sleeves.) And the beads, always with the costume store-looking beads. All of that combined with the really messy hair just makes me want to the ghost of Cary Grant to scare him fashionable again. Sigh.

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?: Usher

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Wow, Usher: a swing and a missed. I like the pants, like the shirt (thought the wife-beater underneath is kinda gross), like the dangling necklace (but only on you), but absolutely hate hate HATE the sunglasses. I’m pretty sure Jennifer Lopez wore those all of two times in the last decade and then came to her senses. When are you going to learn from her mistakes?

Rihanna’s looking kind of weird herself… must be all the “airborne” drugs that pervaded Coachella.

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