Musings on Men’s Fashion – Review of the Swiss Army Cigar Cutter Knife

Cigars are the finest drugs bloodless money can buy. They relax you, slow down your perception of time, confer a medley of fleeting yet reassuring thoughts. God, I love cigars.

Swiss Army makes a knife that comes with a cigar cutting tool – needless to say, I was anxious to try it. Imagine not needing to have a standalone cigar cutter handy whenever you discover your long lost Vitola, or not having to use the cutter at the tobacconist that every Dick and Joe uses. [Disclaimer: yes, I am a total fucking snob about tobacco, so suck it.]

The Cigar Cutter Knife comes with 3 laser-sharpened punches (that’s what the site says at least), each for a different sized cigar. And do they ever punch. I tried this sucker on a Churchill, a Panatella, and a Rothschild – excellent results in all cases. With the Churchill though, and I blame myself for poor technique at the time, the hole turned out slightly irregular. Fortunately, the knife comes equipped with a nifty little scissor that I used to perform some minor leaf surgery.
This baby also comes with a knife blade, scissor, and nail file with cleaner. I highly recommend it for any man that takes his cigars seriously: Swiss Army Cigar Cutter Knife.

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73. Key chains for men

INFEASIBLE: Vintage toy key chains

Mr. Potato Head Keychain – Soft Version – Full Case
(From Ultimate Key Chains)

So I was in the Beverly Center a few days ago helping a friend shop when I saw a hipster come out of Banana Republic twirling the above key chain. I stopped and had to take a moment just to breathe. Ever curious about extremes of retardation in people’s choice of expression, I decided to investigate where one could procure a Mr. Potatohead key chain if one were, say, nostalgic and tripping on 2C-I.

Well, I found a distributor of this tacky-ass piece of trash, and I almost died of shock when I saw the price. I shit you not, my man, that shit goes for $101.95. And that’s a discounted price apparently. I’m sorry folks, I can’t say anything more either then I hope I’ve raised you all better than this. God help everyone else.

edit: Yeh, totally got the price wrong – more like $2 a pop. WHATEVER, just don’t buy this kind of junk, k?

: Swish Army key chains

Victorinox Swiss Army Swish Memory 1 GB
(Brought to you by Saks Fifth Ave.)

Ok. This is tasteful, can store 1 gig of data, AND gives you means to file your nails. NO CONTEST PEOPLE.

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