Tag Archives: fashion police

Men’s Fashion Police: Justin Bieber

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The Bieber: one of my fashion nemeses. Yet again he’s managed to make me cringe at the sight of his wardrobe selection. But what’s different this time is how he somehow managed to subvert a typical principle of wear, the principle of matching. Here he successfully color codes his shirt with an accessory, i.e. his hat, but both pieces feature tired cultural mentions (a basketball team and choral lyrics from a way overplayed pop song) and are the exact same color as found in laughable sports uniforms. It’s as of nuance is missed on him or whoever dresses him: rhyming a word so closely with itself just doesn’t fly. Overall, I’d say what’s happening on Justin is remarkable in how contemptible it is. Also, when did he get some lanky?

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Men’s Fashion Police: Cee-lo

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Cee-lo may be big pimpin’ in the record game these days , but the man’s far from dressing as such. A pair of red Adidas sandals certainly does not go well with his loose-hanging black gym shorts and that Hans-looking v-neck. Someone should also let him know that shades inspired by the Matrix went out of style last decade…

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Men’s Fashion Police: Robert Pattinson

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Looks like Rob’s gone fashionable delinquent again – when will it ever end?! He must have recently decided to try and make the style of a bumbling tourist trendy, what with his ugly-ass Cincinnati sweater, partially untucked shirt and gimmicky San Diego hat. I don’t know why he’s smiling then right and there unless he is intentionally playing up his appearance as a fool. Please change your wardrobe and general approach to being seen before everyone else figures out how ridiculous you can get.

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Men’s Fashion Police: Justin Bieber arraigned

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Whoa, Justin, slow down with that baby pink cardigan. Didn’t your parents teach not to steal clothes from little girls? I’ll bet they also told you keep your hair brushed. And what’s that sticking out of your pants pocket? An iPhone with a funky case or a newfangled tamagotchi? “Wardrobe…”

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?: Jim Toth

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This guy’s, Reese Witherspoon’s guy that is, in need of some fashion tutelage. You got some things going on, Jim, what with the fine-woven jeans, some sculpted facial hair, and great color of blue for his shirt. But… then you have a ironic patch and cheesy graphics on your hat and on your otherwise perfectly nice top. Not exactly tasteful, kid. Keep trying though!

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?: Kanye West

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Everyone’s going ape about Charlie Sheen and his annoyingly arrogant behavior these days, thus allowing other celebrities to wyle out with impunity. Yet again, Kayne openly offends the senses with his fashion selections. Firstly, a red leather jacket? RED? This nostalgia for the 80’s needs to stop before the man brings back wearing hoola-hoops or something equally retarded. Also, does anyone look at his silk black pants and compare them to baggy gym pants? You’re a clown, Kayne.

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