Today we’ve starting a new feature, What Is Wrong With This Picture?, devoted to critiquing the despicable, ugly or dated getups of the stars. This first edition is devoted to those of the paparazzi – we couldn’t make this happen with your blatant disregard for basic human dignity. Gramercy.
This Week’s Mess-Up: David Beckham
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people applaud Dave’s style and grooming. “Wow, what a handsome and well dressed man!”; “What a hunk, and good taste to boot!”; etc. etc. ad nauseam. I admit, the fucker is quite handsome and well-groomed, especially for an athlete – but he certainly isn’t the god-sent of fashion. This picture proves that.
First, the top. I don’t know about you, but I don’t find shit that’s modeled after the Master’s outfit the least bit appealing. It kind of looks like a Militiaman’s coat except this has an ugly ass belt and the extra element of retardation that comes from it having an off-centered collar.
Next, the jeans. What a ratty, excessively wrinkled pair of ugly ass jeans. Iron anyone?
And finally, the shoes. I can’t make out what type they are – maybe sandals?, maybe loafers? – but whatever they are their color reminds me of vomit. I wonder if I can get my pair of Algonquins in putrid green??
David, please burn this outfit but somehow make sure the fumes don’t poison the atmosphere.