CONTEST: Win a men’s wedding ring!!!

Calling all grooms-to-be, this week cefashion’s giving away a snazzy men’s wedding band, courtesy of Just Mens Rings!

A simple, but eye-catching piece crafted out of titanium, this men’s wedding ring strikes that delicate balance between minimalism and sophistication one looks for to signify that unbreakable (heh) bond. This ring usually goes for $139.95 retail price – think of this as your chance to land a great ring and cut back on wedding costs.

There’s only one way to get the free wedding band and that’s by following these simple instructions: Post a comment to this post detailing the corniest wedding vows you’ve ever heard. Could a family member’s, a celebrity’s, whoever – here’s an example. Describe the most eye-rolling testament from memory and please remember to include your email address along with your submission. We’ll pick the most embarrassing submission.

The deadline’s Wednesday March 31st, 2010) at 6 p.m. EST. So gents, mark your calendars or jump in and comment below! And don’t forget to include your email address!


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  2. please enter me into this contest. my fiance & i will tie the know vdery soon. thanks and have a blessed day.

  3. Not corny vows but rather tacky when the bride said "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine!"

  4. Groom: I, (name), choose you, (name), to be my wife. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout the good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put down the toilet seat and to replace the toilet roll when it finishes. I promise to remember this day with love and roses. I will love you always.

    Bride: I, (name), choose you, (name), to by my husband. In front of our friends and family, I promise to love and cherish you through every obstacle that may come into our path. I promise to learn how to change a tire and how to refill the screen wash when it runs out. I will comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win. I will love you always.

  5. While I didn't roll my eyes, during my cousin's wedding – they are doing rather traditional vows and everyone is of course silent and serious. Suddenly, her husband adds in at the end of his vows, "And I promise to start buying your tampons when you run out" (something along those lines). Everyone's mouths dropped open as the bridge began laughing. It was a huge joke between them that he wouldn't buy her tampons until she committed herself to him. ;)

    THANK YOU! alisonad23 at gmail dot com

  6. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out

  7. "Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness" —
    poorness is underlined — "in impotence and in potence, in quiet
    solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-
    navigated"… [consults the notecards] … and it goes on like this.

  8. I really haven't heard any corny vows, but my cousin sang to his wife at their wedding. It was really a bad idea because he got very nervous and emotional and it sounded terrible!

  9. My best friend got married in her husband's rural church by a pastor she didn't know. The family all seemed to like him so she trusted that he was the right man for the job. The rehearsal went well.

    Then the day of the wedding he shows up drunk. The pious country folk at this wedding didn't seem to notice anything was amiss, not even when he asked the bride to repeat after him:

    "I A—, take you J—, to be my loving husband. To tend to me as does a farmer to his cows. For I am your meat, your milk, and you shall bestow the tender ownership the Lord feels befits me. If I should stray, as does a rogue sheep from the flock, you will find me and draw me back to you. For I am yours and you are mine."

    My friend was absolutely mortified. She moved to the little country town and a few years ago the preacher was fired for delivering one too many sermons drunk. I guess the townspeople finally caught on.

  10. I haven't heard any corny vows, but would love to have that ring for hubby. trinitygsd at yahoo dot com

  11. I think the corniest was a couple who used a rap song's lyrics as their vows.

    sinhead83 at hotmail dot com

  12. I love the nautical themed vows in wedding crashers

    “I, Craig, take you, Christina, to be my wife, my best friend, and my first mate. Through sickness and health, clear skies and squalls.”
    “I, Christina, take you, Craig, to be my best friend and my captain, to be your anchor and your sail, your starboard and your port.”

    ahah love it

  13. The corniest or korniest wedding vows was at a coworkers wedding. The groom sang to his bride Do you believe in magic while wearing a magician hat and pulled the wedding ring out of the hat.

    waitressdani (at) hotmail (dot) com

  14. It was a blooper during the vows:

    My Dad is a minister. He was preforming a wedding where they had written their own vows. "Just in case" my Dad took him wedding Bible that have the vows in it. The groom was so nervous that he forgot his vows. He didn't have the paper with them written on them with him either. The bride was a little upset but agreed to go with the traditional vows.

    Another time, the groom was nervous and kept repeating what Dad said instead of what he was supposed to say. Then he said, "I, brides name, take you…" Of course everyone was laughing at that point.


  15. I don't know any corny vows as I've only attended 4 weddings which one was my own. I do however, have a couple blunders to share.

    My wedding- I was so nervous that I couldn't stop laughing! I felt really bad but, it was the only way I could handle the moment.

    My aunt's wedding- My cousin (her daughter) was her maid of honor. Everyone dressed quite nice except for her…she wore a very tight dress so short you could nearly see her behind with high, high heels to go with it.

  16. Here's the corniest vow I ever heard.
    Although I can't remember the exact words the gist went something like this.

    I know all your faults and I accept you anyway. You can't cook, (and the guy elaborated on the poor meals she turned out.) You don't clean, but when we get a girl you'll pay for her services. You don't sew, so I know I'll need to take my clothing to a tailor should it need mending. And I'm sure I'll find out more in first years of marriage. Still you're so darn cute, I'm willing to marry you and take my chances.

    I was mortified for the bride. I'm sure she was mortified as well. So much for writing your own vows.


  17. it was a ceremony at voodoo donuts (a donut shop in portland) they did a wedding there, they called the rings donuts, and kept referring to everything with glaze and holes! it was funny and weird!

  18. charmtime at gmail dot com

    My world didn't start until the day I met you. The sun rises and sets with you. Without you I would not be able to breathe.

  19. One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.–Honore de Balzac

    Pretty corny

  20. We had some friends that decided to get married in Vegas. They were a little tipsy and decided to do an Elvis themed wedding… with an Elvis impersantor officiating.

    Everything Elvis said was a line from a song, and he pronounced them "Hunka Hunka Burning Loves"!

    It was horrible! One of the vows was to not be a "Hound Dog" or for her to be "Crying All the Time".

    It was really, really bad!

    jennifercausby at hotmail dot com

  21. Officiant to Bride: Do you promise to love, honor, cook for, clean up after, surrender your share of the blanket to, live with the flatulence of, relinquish the remote to and with the toilet seat after until death do you part?

    Officiant to Groom: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, and you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.

  22. my e-mail is [email protected]

    I was at this wedding once. It was in a church and all. I was actually fairly young, so I don't remember much. But I swear the wedding couldn't have been more than half an hour. The whole thing went by so fast, not only was it corny as all get out with a "hell yeah" (from the bride) instead of an "I do", but it was the most ghetto wedding I've seen as well.
    Defiantly had to be there, then wish you weren't.

  23. I think the corniest has to be a couple who used a country song's lyrics as their vows.

    rsbryswrrl at gmail dot com

  24. I saw a wedding ring inscription that read "insert finger here" – rather pragmatic!

  25. Corny wedding vows are foreign to me. Marriage is the most important, sacred commitment in the world, and there should be nothing corny about them. The song, "You Are the Wind Beneath my Wings," says so much and describes exactly how I feel about my dear David. Unfortunately, he found out he had bile duct cancer a couple weeks after proposing to me by the ocean. We never got to complete the vows. I would like to win the ring and wear it myself as a reminder of what true, selfless love is — and what it is like to really cherish someone.

  26. Never been to a corny wedding, but my wedding was funny. My husband's dad married us and they are such a goofball family that when it was time to repeat his dad said "repeat after me, okay?". DH said "after me okay?". and I said "repeat after me okay?". It was so funny!!

    stephanie_dunbar07 at hotmail dot com

  27. I have only been to a few weddings in my life so I don't know about corniest but worst was when my friend kept OBEY in them. OBEY really OBEY?



  30. [email protected]

    Don't want to embarrass the family member so I wont say his name:

    You are to me as Jelly is to peanut butter. When I am around, you make my heart flutter. Your sweeter than you think… sweeter than my purple drink. Wrote your name so many times.. My pen ran out of ink.

    I love you more than Cake and Pie. I want to be with you, Till the day I die. A-B-C's and 1-2-3s It's as simple as that.

    The day we met, It was true love. I knew you fit me, Like a brand new glove. When we fight, when you cry, it makes me want to do better, and better I'll try.

    Give me your finger, please take this ring. I hope in 5 years, I can get you more bling.

    for now its small, but our love is so large. I promise your the leader. baby You are in charge.

    PRETTY GOOD, but I just don't know who would say this in front of a family of 300+ people.

  31. With that, I ask you —
    Will you answer me right now,
    These questions as your wedding vow?

    Yes I will answer now
    Your questions as my solemn vow
    Provided our guests don’t have a cow.

    Will you love him if he’s rich?
    Will you love her in a ditch?
    From today until the end of time
    Even if his words don’t rhyme?

    I will love her if she’s rich
    And I will love her in a ditch.
    And I will even love her when she’s a b…eautiful princess.

    Will you love him for richer for poorer?
    Will you love her for quiet for snorer?
    From today until the cows come home
    And never stop writing goofy poems?

    I will love him if she’s poor.
    I will lover him if she snores.
    And I will even love him when he’s a bore.

    Will you love with all your heart?
    Will you love till death do you part?
    Will you have and forever hold
    Each other hearts ‘till the stars grow cold?

    I will love him forever a thousand fold,
    Till death us do part and our blood grow cold,
    Or until our brains grow mold.

    Will you love through good and bad?
    Will you love in times happy or sad?
    From now until forever more
    Or at least until your 94?

    I will love him through good and bad
    And in times happy and sad
    Cause he’s the best friend I’ve ever had.

    Will you take him as your mate?
    Will you have her as your date?
    From this day on and ever more
    No matter what your life might have in store?

    I will have her as my mate
    Starting on this our wedding date,
    May as well as its our fate.

    If you will be wed through and through
    Then say those two words:

    I Do
    I Do

    [email protected]

  32. Before he slipped the ring on my finger, he promised to tolerate my cats and I promised never to nag like his ex-wife did. On June 23, we'll celebrate 12 years of marriage. He snores like a prize steer the day after breeding season, but I love him anyway.

  33. My husband and I went to a wedding a few months ago and the groom started to say a poem it was so funny. (just because we just didnt think he would have said any of these words) I had tears running down my cheeks. It was a little hard to hear him because every one was laughing, but on theirr thank you cards the poem was on it, it went some thing like this……let me be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust.
    let me be your ford cortina
    i will never rust. If you like your coffee hot let me be your coffee pot. you call the shots
    i wanna be yours. let me be your raincoat for those frequent rainy days. let me be your dreamboat
    when you wanna sail away. let me be your teddy bear take me with you anywhere. I dont care
    I wanna be yours.

  34. I don't have a corny vow story, but something funny from my friends wedding. Instead of her husband breaking a glass, he used a light bulb so it would break easier. When it came time for him to stomp and break it, it took him sooooo long,lol. They are a great couple and it was just silly since all the other guests thought it was a glass in the bag.

  35. I haven't heard any corny wedding vows, but I have yet to go to wedding that something hasn't gone wrong. At my brother's wedding he passed out in the middle of saying his vows.

  36. It wasn't so much the vows but the speeches at the reception. We went to my cousins where the speeches went on for 3 hours!!!!!! It was insane – a bunch of had to keep walking out because we couldn't take it anymore!!

  37. Well, it wasn't so much the vows being corny, it was that he said "I, Evan, take you Julie" and his wife-to-be was Elizabeth and Julie was his ex!!! Ruh roh!

  38. I don't have corny wedding vows, but I was in a wedding where the best man got so trashed he read the same sentence of his best man's speech over and over. I was mortified and I was not even the bride.

  39. It would have to be my cousin's wedding where he sang that "Your are the wind beneath my wings" I pretty much couldn't handle it, and sneeked away for 10 min.

  40. [email protected] I'm a church organist by profession, and usually have a wedding or two to play every weekend. I've seen it all, and love to snark on corny vows.

    The reading for this particular cornball wedding was from Solomon about how "My love is like a gazelle". Well, the doofus groom and bride decided to recite their vows without reading them, they were original vows they made up. I might note that the bride and groom each weighed well over 300 lbs.

    The groom ended his vows with "You are my gazelle".
    Weirdly, and cornily enough, she ended her vows with "You are my gazelle."


  41. My e-mail is [email protected]
    Here are the vows, the corniest I've seen after the Dr. Seuss vows of course.
    This is the best I can remember it (it was 2 yrs. ago)
    I, R——, take A—– to be my loving husband, to stare into the moonlit ocean and be my boo-boo while you are my baa-baa;
    To love and Snugg-wugg-wugg while eating popcorn and suggy-wuggies.
    To respect and hold and cherry-werry me until I' oldsy-toldsy